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Killers - Joel The Lump Of Coal

Killers - Joel The Lump Of Coal

Verse 1
      D           A/C#          Bm                   A
Some time ago, at Santa's place up in the old North Pole
       Em             Bm                E                  A
There lived a lump of anthracite whose parents called him Joel
 D               A           Bm                  F#m
Joel, Joel, the lump of coal happy as a lump can be
    G                  D              G                A
He just wants to keep Santa warm and make the elves cozy

     D             A/C#              Bm               A
But Santa Claus had other plans for Joel one fateful day
  Em                   Bm                E              A
"Joel, you're just the lump I need come join me on my sleigh"
 D               A           Bm                  F#m
Joel, Joel, the lump of coal heart leapt up with joy,
      G                D           G             A   B7/D#
I'll soon be Santa's present to a lucky girl or boy

Bridge 
        Em                    D     A                   G
 We'll laugh and play together and hold each other tight
   D                         A             G                  D/F#
 Snuggle under clean white sheets when we go to sleep at night
       Em                               D        A                G
 Then Santa's elves all laughed at Joel, "you're in for a surprise
         D                          A        G                D/F#
 You're not a special Christmas gift you're just a booby prize
       Em                     D        A              G
 What kid would ever want you? You're filthy as can be
  D                         A     G
 Now you have to go and live with one who's been naughty"

      D       G    E/G#        A      A#dim7  Bm
 "But I make heat, poor Joel cried and electricity"
                  D7/C              A7
 "You pollute the air with CO2 and mercury"


Verse 2
  D               A                 Bm            F#m
 Joel, Joel, the lump of coal fell down upon his knees
     G                       D                 G                A
 "I don't wanna live with a naughty kid don't make me, Santa, please"
      D                A/C#               Bm                 A
 But Santa laughed his jolly laugh,  "Ho, Ho, you stupid lump
         Em                 Bm                  E               A
 You're just the thing to teach this brat that Santa ain't no chump"


    D                    A/C#          Bm            A
 So off they flew and, before he knew Joel was in a sack
      Em                 Bm                E                A
 He cried and yelled to Santa Claus, "why don't we just go back?"

Bridge 
      Em                        D
 And then came Christmas morning
       A                                    G          
 And, much to Joel's surprise (Much to Joel's surprise)
     D                             A           
 He saw a boy with the saddest face
      G                                D/F#
 And tears were in his eyes (Tears were in his eyes)
    Em                         D
 He picked Joel up and held him
      A                                     G
 And said, "you can be my friend (Hey man, let's be friends)
     D                           A
 I would've liked some presents but
          G                              D/F#
 You're what Santa chose to send (Santa chose to send)
       Em                           D
 It's true, I've been a naughty boy
      A                          G
 And maybe that's a sin (Maybe that's a sin)
      D                              A      G
 If this is how Santa treats the kids, I'm just glad that I'm not him"

Verse 3
  D               A            Bm              F#m
 Joel, Joel, the lump of coal knew what he must do
            G               D        G              A
 He said, "now I know the reason why I got sent to you
         D               A/C#         Bm                 A
 Cause when a person hurts inside it turns him hard and cruel
     Em             Bm               E                 A
 But I know how to make your pain into a precious jewel"

      D              A/C#                   Bm                  A
 "So take me in your hand, young man and squeeze with all your might
        Em                Bm          E                      A
 Let's turn your pain and anger into something that shines bright"
       D               A               Bm            F#m
 Then Joel, Joel, the lump of coal he gave his life away
     G                 D                G            A       D
 Oh, one good naughty little boy get a diamond on Christmas day  

Outro  (D)   A   |Bm  F#m |G   D  |G   A  ||D


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